My Thursday Evening

by Kathryn L. White

As I look towards the sweaty bodies of young singles desperately hoping to make a connection with someone special, I realize I have completely forgotten why I dragged myself all the way out to a gay bar in west village on a Thursday evening when I’m neither gay nor interested in meeting a special someone in a bar. Oh yes, I’m here for a birthday. I keep forgetting that everything is not about me. Still, I can’t help but wonder where my rich and handsome crush is spending his Thursday evening. I know it isn’t in a gay bar, that’s for sure. Actually, knowing my luck in the past, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was indeed spending his evening fraternizing with someone of the same sex rather than me. And I do suppose we need to have some sort of introductory conversation before we start with the fraternizing.

I wonder if I’ll pass him in the hall tonight on the way to my apartment. Or maybe, fate will lock us in the same elevator and I’ll have a whole 20 seconds to say something clever and flirtatious! What will I possibly say to completely captivate him in 20 seconds? Ugh. Movies are so deceiving and unrealistic. Romantic elevator encounters do not last 15 minutes, and I’ve certainly never been lucky enough to get stuck for that long while trapped with my potential soul mate. And even if I did, I’m extremely claustrophobic and there’s no way anything positive would come out of that. 

Maybe, if I just…oh no…is this awkward man/boy staring at me? No, it’s just my imagination. There must be a clock or something on the wall behind me. Wait, I think he’s actually staring at me. Oh, great…I think he’s…yep, he’s walking over here. Where did my friend go? Why is there an open seat right next to me? Please don’t sit down. You aren’t my type. Maybe if I just spill a drink on my dress, I can excuse myself as soon as he sits down…wait, I don’t have a drink! Oh gosh, here he comes…better go with that line from Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. “Oh, hi! Umm…would you excuse me? I cut my foot earlier and now my shoe is filling up with blood.”